igår åkte jag tåg upp till sundsvall och släkten, första tåget stannade mitt ute i ingenstans och vart försenat men som tur var så var det andra tågen ännu mer försenat.. aja sen hämtade mamma tanja mig på tågstationen med hennes barn.. lilla nelli var emd och kan ju bara säga att sååå jävla söööt var hon.. hem till dom iallafall och pratalite och åt lite mat, hehe. lite jobbigt när dom säger "om du tycket att det var gott så äter du mer" haha jag är redan jätte mätt hur fan ska jag kunna äta mer? för sköna är dom fan.. träffade också mina andra kusiner anna och ante. ska ju sova hos anna så inte så konstigt att jag träffade henne.. haha men så senare åkte jag hem till henne och henns killes lägenhet, kollade på lite tv sen så vart det sängen/soffan.. men det var chill. idag ska det bli massa plugg hehe om min kusin kan startabilen och hämta mig, aa det är ganska kallt om man inte kan starta bilen.. men det är ju ganska kul? nja sitter nog inne den här tiden här uppe..

September 7, 1881

Life has become very dear to me, and I am very glad that I love. My life and my love are one. "But you are faced with a 'no, never never'" is your reply. My answer to that is, "Old boy, for the present I look upon that 'no, never never' as a block of ice which I press to my heart to thaw."

Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.

ever thine
ever mine
ever ours

To be, or not to be, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
And by opposing end them. To die—to sleep,
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to: 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep, perchance to dream—ay, there's the rub:
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause—there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
Th'oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of dispriz'd love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of th'unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovere'd country, from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry
And lose the name of action.

quote by: Carl Sandburg